Persistent vs. Pushy

There is a fine line between persistent vs pushy when it comes to trying to date someone.  It doesn't take much to cross that line. Sometimes the difference is how comfortable you make that other person while you pursue them.  Here is just one example of crossing that line.

I received messages for a guy, we will call him Ray, on an online dating site.  He seemed ok, in the military, lives in a town near by, getting ready to go back to school.  So I gave him my phone number to talk and get to know each other more.  He talks about getting together and hanging out.    Then he sends me nude photos via text.  Thanks buddy for clearly showing me exactly what you are looking for.  I'm not so sure I want to hang out with you now. I proceed to kindly tell him that clearly he is looking for something much different than I am, thanks but no thanks. 

So he apologizes and asks if we can get together.  I'm very hesitant at this point.  Lets face it I haven't been on "first dates" in years due to being in long term relationships so of course I'm nervous.  Most of the time I've just met men in bars and talked to them or ended up dating people I've known.  So I tell him that I'm a bit nervous and wanting to take things slow as I'm very new to the dating scene.  He asks if I will meet him one day for coffee.  Ok still hesitating but tell him I will check my schedule. 

Now Thursday roles around and he asks for my plans for the weekend.  I tell him that I am booked for the entire weekend but maybe Monday or Tuesday I will check my schedule and get back to him. 

Friday night he texts me and asks what I am up to.  I let him know I'm out with college friends for a drink.  He tells me how he is bored and out at the bar alone and I should come meet him.  I tell him I am not able as I am out with friends I haven't seen in a long time. 

Saturday morning he texts me and asks what I am doing and can we meet.  .  I tell him I can't today I have plans I'm pretty swamped all day.  I go on a fantastic lunch date with a guy (that I will blog about later).  Then go to West Chester University to see a Christmas show.  Again he begins to text me Saturday night while I am at the show.  He asks what I am doing and says lets meet up.  I've told him I was going to see the show with a friend earlier in the week.  I tell him I can't I'm out with a friend seeing a show and I wont be able to text as the show is about to start.  He says have fun.  Later that evening after the show he continues to text me asking me to meet up after the show.  I tell him I can't due to being at the cast party with friends.  Ok now he's just starting to annoy me.  I told you I was busy this weekend and you bug me several times a day to hang out. 

Sunday clearly the pattern continues of asking and me explaining how busy I am but that I would check my schedule for Monday or Tuesday.  At this point I really don't even want to meet with this guy as he is already annoying me and not making a good first impression and I haven't even met him yet. 

Monday I told him I would not be able to meet but I'd check to see about possibly Tuesday afternoon.  Of course he continued to text me over and over again on Monday to ask me to hang out after I said I couldn't. 

Tuesday morning he sends me a text saying hi.  I was in the middle of my workout so I didn't text him back right away.  Once I respond saying hello.  He asks if we are meeting I tell him I have a few things to do but that we should be able to meet for coffee in the afternoon.  Getting a little tired of repeating myself with my schedule as well.  And I am not a fan of pushy men.  The next text I receive is this "Okay just to let you know you are not a reliable person.  I would like for you to delete my number."  So I just respond with a simple, "Sorry you feel that way I said I was busy good luck to you.".  Then he said, "I don't need luck, I am sure you do need it. Sorry."

Well I deleted his number and did not respond to his last message.  I don't need to respond because clearly he wont get it.  I'd rather he go be pushy and bug some other single chick.  Cause this single chick doesn't mind a guy being persistent but can't stand pushy.  And there is by far a fine line when it comes to dating and this guy crossed it over and over again.